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High School Family Life
COLLEGE APPLICATION PROCESS:
HELPING YOUR TEEN COPE
A Stressful Procedure for Both Teens and Parents
For teens, applying to college gives rise to natural anxieties: the process itself is long and involved, with a whirlwind of tasks, details, and
deadlines, throughout which the teen feels pressured by others' evaluations and feels fierce competition.
Moreover, "success" – in this case, acceptance to a school – is something of a double-edge sword in that it symbolizes the beginning of the end: of high school, familiar settings and friends, life in the family home, even adolescence itself.
For the same reasons, the process is stressful for parents too, since it is difficult to watch your adolescent face such uncertainty and struggle.
You also have increased responsibilities as you coordinate college visits, struggle with financial issues, and oversee other administrative aspects of the process. Moreover, you have to contend with your own, naturally ambivalent feelings about the upcoming changes when your child finally moves out of your home.
A Positive Learning Experience
But there's an upside; one of the great keys to a successful life is learning to see the advantages inherent in difficult situations.
This is an ability you no doubt hope your child will acquire, and the college application process can be viewed as an excellent opportunity to practice the skill. Viewed this way, the college application process can be seen as a valuable learning experience that will pay off many times over as your teen traverses adulthood. For instance, the college application process is an excellent opportunity for your teen to learn how to organize and carry out a complicated project, maintain optimism in the face of uncertainty and stress, and appear poised during evaluative interviews – all crucial skills for any profession!
What Can I do as a Parent to Help my Teen Cope and Thrive During this Process?
- Sitting down with your teen during a calm moment before the process begins and asking:
"How can I help you best?" With that, you open a dialogue and can negotiate whether she/he wants you to be: hands-on throughout the process (e.g., helping him get organized, reminding him of deadlines, reviewing and critiquing his work), or act as more of a safety net (e.g., involved only if your child explicitly asks you or is in very obvious need).
- Remain relentlessly calm and optimistic.
It is especially important during this time not to let your child's anxiety become your own. Becoming over-involved, complaining about the process, screaming at a college counselor, doing work that the teen should really be completing on his own – all unequivocally reinforce for your child the notion that this is a negative, overwhelming process ("look, mom can't handle it either!").
- Be the voice of reason. Help your child to remember that there is NO such thing as the perfect school – all have their advantages and disadvantages, from "top choice" on down to "the safety". Reassure your child
that you understand her anxiety, but of course she can get through this process – hundreds of thousands of kids do it each year and she will be no different. Be ready to remind your child (with specific examples) of
her past successes when she is feeling especially down – times when she wrote beautifully, successfully completed a difficult project, or presented herself well.
- Help your teen to see the fun and excitement that are just as much a part of this process as the anxiety and stress.
Show him how to be excited about his endeavor by going out on a special shopping trip to buy all the supplies he will need to keep himself organized in the coming months (remember how much fun "back to school shopping" is each year?). Help him set up the special place where he will complete most of the work involved in the applications. Acquire a large calendar that can be posted on the wall, and assist him in marking out deadlines and developing a list of what tasks will be completed when. These sorts of activities will help him to break down what can seem at first an overwhelming amount of work into a series of small, doable tasks. As an added incentive, schedule rewards for each major deadline he meets (e.g., dinners to celebrate when he completes his essays, planned "days off" when he has completed other specific tasks, etc.).
- Maintain your sense of humor. Laughter and good times together make any experience bearable.
If you have questions or concerns regarding colleges and the application process, you may wish to consult with the college counselor on campus.
If you have concerns about the stress and anxiety your son or
daughter is going through, you may wish to consult with the Outreach Concern counselor on campus.
Information has been compiled from various educational
and counseling resources
Elementary School Family Life
Helping Your ADHD Child Succeed in School
Going to school is often a time of apprehension for a child or teen with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Students with ADHD face many
challenges at school both academically and socially. Yet, as this diagnosis becomes more prevalent there is more and more information available as to how parents and teachers can help ADHD students succeed in school.
It is estimated that approximately 20% of children and adolescents in the U.S. have a diagnosis of ADHD. It is nearly ten times more common in boys than
girls. Though the symptoms vary widely from child to child, some of the common characteristics include: distractibility, restlessness, confusion, and
impulsivity, problems with sleep and coordination, difficulty paying attention, and difficulty organizing and completing work. Because of these problem
areas, it is imperative for parents and teachers to work together. Early and open communication among students, parents and teachers has many benefits.
It decreases the amount of time it takes for a new teacher to work effectively with your child or teen. It helps the school to understand your child or teens
difficulties so his/her behavior isn't seen as a problem. It also provides an opportunity for your child or teen to deal with their ADHD and learn to speak
up for themselves. Designing a plan specific to your child's needs can aid in their academic and social progress.
Here are a few ideas to help this process:
- Get educated on ADHD and what it means for your child and your family.
- Provide your child's teacher with good information on your child's diagnosis and areas of difficulty.
- Let both the teacher and school administration know if your child or teen takes medication and what time of day it may start to wear off.
- Be open to suggestions and feedback from their teacher.
- Discuss on a regular basis any progress or difficulties your child or adolescent is experiencing. For example a weekly work chart or behavioral chart that both parent and teacher sign.
- Help older children identify in their own words how their diagnosis affects them and what helps them learn best in the classroom.
- Encourage your child to speak with his/her teacher about their difficulties and what helps them best.
- Set specific, realistic goals for your child.
- Be involved with the management of homework and school projects.
- Review assignments with your child.
- Break assignments down into parts and help your child learn to organize and prioritize.
- Help to teach your child self-management.
- Give positive feedback for assignments completed in a neatly, timely manner.
- Keep a structured routine for homework, snack time, dinnertime, TV time, etc.
- Get your child involved in extra curricular activities such as soccer or karate, etc. These are good ways to burn off excess energy and promote self-esteem and self-discipline.
Recommended Books:
"Helping Your ADD Child" – Author: John F. Taylor, Ph.D.
"Give Your ADD Teen A Chance" – Author: Lynn Weiss, Ph.D.
"Putting On The Brakes" – A workbook for children and teens
with ADHD. Authors: Quinn, Stern & Russell
Information has been compiled from various
educational and counseling resources
AYUDANDO A SU NIÑO DE ADHD TENGA ÉXITO EN ESCUELA
El ir a la escuela es a menudo una época de la aprehensión para un niño o adolescente con desorden de la hiperactividad del déficit de la atención. Los
estudiantes con ADHD hacen frente a muchos desafíos en la escuela académico y social. Todavía, como esta diagnosis llega a ser más frecuente hay cada vez más información disponible en cuanto a cómo los padres y los
profesores pueden ayudan a estudiantes de ADHD a tener éxito en escuela.
Se estima que los aproximadamente 20% de niños y de adolescentes en los E.E.U.U. tienen una diagnosis de ADHD. Es casi diez veces más común en
muchachos que muchachas. Aunque los síntomas varían extensamente de niño al niño, algunas de las características comunes incluyen: distractibility,
restlessness, confusión, e impulsivity, problemas con sueño y la coordinación, dificultad que presta la atención, y dificultad que organiza y que termina el
trabajo. Debido a estas áreas problemáticas, es imprescindible para que los padres y los profesores trabajen junto. Temprano y comunicación abierta
entre estudiantes, padres y profesores tiene muchas ventajas. Disminuye la cantidad de tiempo que toma para que un nuevo profesor trabaje con eficacia
con su niño o adolescente. Ayuda a la escuela a entender su niño o dificultades de las adolescencias así que su comportamiento no se considera como problema. También proporciona una oportunidad para su niño o adolescente
al reparto de su ADHD y aprende hablar para arriba para sí mismos. Diseñar un específico del plan a las necesidades de su niño puede ayudar en su progreso académico y social.
Aquí están algunas ideas de ayudar a este proceso:
- Consiga educado en ADHD y qué significa para su niño y su familia.
- Provea del profesor de su niño la buena información en la diagnosis de su niño y áreas de la dificultad.
- Deje el profesor y la administración de la escuela saber si su niño o la medicación adolescente de las tomas y cuándo del día puede comenzar a usar apagado.
- Esté abierto a las sugerencias y a la regeneración de su profesor.
- Discuta sobre una base regular cualquier progreso o las dificultades su niño o adolescente están experimentando. Por ejemplo una carta semanal del trabajo o carta del comportamiento que el padre y el profesor firman.
- Más viejos niños de la ayuda identifican en sus propias palabras cómo su diagnosis las afecta y qué les ayuda a aprender lo más mejor posible en la sala de clase.
- Anime a su niño que hable con su profesor sobre sus dificultades y qué les ayuda lo más mejor posible.
- Fije las metas específicas, realistas para su niño.
- Esté implicado con la gerencia de los proyectos de la preparación y de la escuela.
- Repase las asignaciones con su niño.
- Rompa las asignaciones abajo en piezas y ayude a su niño a aprender organizar y dar la prioridad.
- Ayude a enseñar a su uno mismo-gerencia del niño.
- Dé la regeneración positiva para las asignaciones terminadas en cuidadosamente, manera oportuna.
- Guarde una rutina estructurada por la preparación, el tiempo del bocado, el dinnertime, el tiempo de la TV, el etc.
- Consiga su niño implicado en actividades del plan de estudios adicionales tales como fútbol o karate, los etc. éstos son buenas maneras de consumir exceso de energía y de promover autoestima y autodisciplina.
Libros recomendados:
El "ayudar su AGREGA a niño" – Autor: Juan F. Taylor, Ph.D.
"Dé su AGREGAN adolescente un Chance" – Autor: Lynn Weiss, Ph.D.
"Poniendo en los frenos" – Un libro de trabajo para los niños y
adolescencias con ADHD. Autores: Quinn, popa y Russell
La información se ha compilado de vario
educativo y aconsejando recursos
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